Who is this girl? lol I found this old picture of myself when I was looking through old photos and thought to myself, "I wish I knew then what I now! What would I tell her today? Well lets see

     1. Go easy on your self
     2. Relax
     3. It was not your fault
     4. Things always change
and most of all
     5. You are worth being loved

I think that we all have our own issues from childhood but learning from what we lived through makes and molds us to who we become later in life whether it is good or bad.
What I have realized from my own personal life is that this does not dictate who I will be for the rest of my life! I choose! Me! and I can be and do what I choose and feel good about my choices and yes I can be proud of myself for what choices I make in my life.
Looking at this picture I see a very sweet young lady. But remembering how I felt at the time that this picture was taken is another story all together.
I guess as I sit here contemplating things in the past I realize that what I have made for myself today is very far away from what I lived in then. Life did not turn out how I imagined it would be but it turned out much better than others I have seen in my time here on earth. (with an exception of the loss of my baby girl) I could not ask for a better life. I am happy with my choices. Is there room for changes? absolutely but I have learned to accept myself for who I am for the first time in my life. What a relief it was to accept myself because it truly freed me from shackles holding me down and allowed me to be free and to be me.
I am not saying that things are so good that I do not have trial because its quite the opposite. Over the last four years I have lost to cancer and other problems, my baby girl, two aunties, two great aunties, two uncles, one cousin, one grandmother, my bio father, three really close friends, my puppy, and my mother in law was so sick she almost died and has not been the same since, Then a year of cancer with my husband which he has now been labeled cancer free.
I know that my story is not the worse one out there either but we all handle things differently and act accordingly. I am rambling on but just wanted to say that I have become aware that I have accepted myself for who I am and that is a really big deal and step for me. It's like a butterfly coming out of her cocoon. Now the chance to fly is all in my hands.
Happy day everyone!

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